Oh thank goodness for this new wonderful outlet that I will force my friends to read. Now, I can take this opportunity to vent. Mainly because I just got home and before even evan.... parking my car I dropped the f bomb 3 times.
First, I spend an exorbitant amount of time shoveling snow on the street and yard so I can park in a spot either way and there's still room for my mother. So I get home and of course the people across the streets...... son is parked in one of the nicely shoveled spot. This man does this at least 3 times a week, and usually i get pissed and let it slide. But what the fuck man, hours of shoveling and spaces being a hot commodity. This isnt dc... and you found a spot to park in before I shoveled the spot... SHIT. I wouldn't dare park in front of your parents house asshole because I (did i spell dare right?) .... because I know that 2 cars park on the street and Im considerate. Where as, he knows 2 cars park on this side of the street but what the fuck ever, who cares.... Im probably in the wrong but Im still up set damnit ... !
NOW... on to Mom Chronicles...this is probably a nice little piece I will do often because, I like complaining about my mother like an ungrateful little bitch. So as a disclaimer: I love my mother and everything she has ever done for me. She is kind, loving, accepting, and always there for me and I would be the person I am without her... blah blah blah. This is all meant to be funny, no duh!
ok so exhibit A:
As you'll see to your left (okay well not left, I am getting too frustrated at this damn formatting shit so above) a kind of cut open avocado. Now, I don't like avocados, so it isn't all that big of a deal.... But for shit's sake. If you want an avocado, don't cut off/out 1/11 of the avocado and put the rest back...... uncovered.... in a random place on the kitchen counter. Also, if it was because you realized it was bad, why would you then return it to its original place in randomville on the counter. But, again, I don't like avocados so its cool I guess.
Exhibit 2:
So above you here is .... well... in the blue bowl is my dog Roxie's food bowl. Now what I ask you to look at is the cast iron skillet next to it. Now this photo was taken on the 2nd..... on the 31st of January my mother was hungry and made an ...."omelet." She made enough for two people and didn't eat all of it. So..... she leaves it covered on the stove and the night of the 1st while I am trying to make asparagus, to her surprise, it's still there. "Oh I forgot I made that!"She says and then proceeds to put it on the floor for Roxie to eat. My mother thought it was appropriate to take an "omelet" that had been sitting out for 24 hours and feed it to my dog. Which is nearly forgivable.... but here it is another 24 hours later and.... its still sitting there. Roxie didn't touch shit. I vowed never to clean her Roxie donations up so, we will see how long it stays there. I'll be sure to let you all know.
In Baltimore, people put stuff (usually lawn chairs) in their shoveled out spots so that other people can't park in them. The new mayor tried to outlaw this last winter after the huge storm and people were so outraged that they reversed the order.
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